Aquarius represents liberation and individuation. If this energy is emphasized in your chart, you may feel like you can’t be in a long-term relationship. Although some Aquarian-types have no desire to be in a committed partnership, there are others who would love to meet someone who understands their unique needs.
Just because you’re independent doesn’t mean you don’t want companionship.
If you have one or more of the following in your chart, Aquarius is emphasized, and probably colors your approach to relationships and intimacy:
1st or 7th House cusp in Aquarius or conjunct Uranus (Aquarius’ ruler)
Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars in Aquarius, or in hard aspect (conjunct, square, opposition) to Uranus
Stubborn and Detached
Your Aquarian drive to walk your own path can cause difficulties in romance. Although your sign is associated with the rebellious risk-taker, the truth is that you’re more stubborn than anything else. Aquarius is a Fixed sign, so the trouble begins when a partner insists on doing something that infringes on your plans. You can be just as set on your routine as Taurus; it may simply be an unstructured swath of time where you want to go off and stare into space, but it’s your time. “Couple time” is difficult for you to accommodate, because you do have a greater than average need for autonomy.
The other issue is detachment. Whether it’s your Moon (emotions) or another planet that’s influenced by Aquarius/Uranus, part of you is not comfortable with merging. Soul-to-soul bonding (or even prolonged bouts of cuddling) probably makes you restless. This is not because you don’t have feelings; you’re capable of tremendous love and loyalty. But Aquarian energy pulls you back and away; you’re supposed to have a detached perspective, because (despite your rep for being a fringe-dweller) Aquarius is about the collective. You’re able to stand back and instinctively know how one person fits (or doesn’t) into the larger picture. To prospective partners, it may seem like there’s a gap they can’t bridge. You’re there, all bright-eyed and interested in what they have to say, but you’re not quite there.
Your Own Relationship Rules
In a culture where traditional pair-bonding is more or less the norm, it can be incredibly frustrating for someone like you who wants a companion but still wants things on your own terms. A common refrain I hear from Aquarians is, “I know that relationships require compromise, but I’m not good at/willing to compromise, so I guess it’s just not going to happen for me.” This is spoken in a rational, breezy voice. As I stated in the first paragraph, maybe you really have no desire to share your life with someone; this is a valid choice. But if you’ve given up hope because you think you’re too difficult, or others just don’t get you, consider the ways in which you’re using your Aquarian energy.
Every sign has a Shadow side, and an evolved (or self-aware) side. Aquarius is no exception. When you get stuck in the rut of “I’m doomed to be alone because I’m too strange/challenging/extreme for anyone to live with,” you’re expressing the Shadow side of your sign: the stubborn rebel, embracing your isolation and weirdness. No one’s asking you to dislocate a shoulder by cramming yourself into the narrow box of traditional unions. But consider the following: there’s a difference between rebellion with no purpose, and innovation that clarifies or makes things better. Did you know that your traditional ruler is Saturn, the lord of structure and authority? This tells you something about your potential to make your own rules. Rather than despairing that you’ll never fit into a relationship mold, how about making your own relationship template?
Reciprocity
Aquarius is also the sign of hopes and ideals; you probably have a Big Idea or dream. Finding someone who supports your dream is crucial. Emotional merging may not be your thing, but an intellectual and philosophical union is. This is your brand of intimacy. Aquarius forms a harmonious trine with Libra, the natural ruler of the 7th House (one-on-one relationships). Aquarius is the sign of friendship, which is the Libran imperative taken to a broader level. For this reason, trying to negotiate a relationship can feel like going backwards, or stuffing an item (that’s expanded) back into its container. The thing to remember is that you’re looking for a partner you can be friends with. Romance and friendship are a non-negotiable combination for you.
How do you find such a partner? By paying attention to what planet(s)/angles are influenced by Aquarius in your chart, and expressing their highest potential. You get back what you put out. If your 1st House cusp (identity) is in Aquarius, your 7th House cusp will be in spotlight-grabbing Leo. You’re probably drawn to a partner who stands out (the sign/house your Sun is in will tell you more). The 7th House is your projected energy, so the way to attract a healthy relationship is to discover the healthiest expression for your ego (your Sun). How you get attention will get your prospective partner’s attention. If your Mars (energy and sex drive) opposes Uranus, you’re probably impatient, impulsive and hot-wired with a ton of extra energy. There needs to be a healthy outlet for that, whether it’s someone who shares your desire for edgy sex, or work/sports that indulges your desire for risk. Also, an awareness of your behavior is helpful. Do you take certain actions just to shock people or make your partner nervous? No matter what planet/angle is being affected, your goal is to express your individuality in a way that improves your life (or the lives of others).
October 9, 2013 by Nadia Gilchrist
http://sasstrology.com/2013/10/aquarius-and-relationships-intimacy-for-the-outsider.html
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